I have a partner, spouse or family member; I think he/she is hoarding. What should I do?
Since the airing of the A&E Documentary “Hoarding,” this is by far the most common question I have received. Many times hoarders are unable to recognize that there is cause for concern about their behavior. Are you concerned that your spouse, partner or a family member may have a problem with hoarding?
Addressing the Problem of Hoarding
As is the case with many other mental health and psychological problems, addressing the issue with someone who may be a hoarder can be the most difficult step.
Many hoarders resist the efforts of others who try to motivate them to change. Denial, anger, rationalizing and fear all play a powerful role in the mind of a hoarder. By far the biggest difficulty is a hoarder’s ability to recognize that they have a problem and/or seek help on their own. When speaking to someone whose hoarding behavior concerns you, try to imagine what it would be like for them.
The Dos and Don’ts for Speaking to Someone About Hoarding
- Do respect the choices of the individual or family.
- Do use encouraging language focusing on individual strengths.
- Do match the individual’s language in how he or she refers to their items, things or collections.
- Do initially focus on safety and well-being.
- Don’t try to argue about an object, throwing away specific items, or organization.
- Don’t use language that is negative, judgmental, patronizing or demeaning.
- Don’t touch a person’s belongings without their permission.
- Don’t assess a condition or provide any type of counseling or mentoring.
Providing Steps Out of the Stuff
Hoarding is a slow recovery. Did you notice I’m not saying “cure”? Many individuals and families learn coping mechanisms and strategies for living with a hoarding disorder. With the help of a support team that includes a mental health professional, professional organizer and other community support systems, someone who may be a hoarder can learn to manage.
A mental health professional can assess the underlying sources for hoarding behavior, and begin to address the behavior. Sometimes, hoarding is linked to obsessive-compulsive behavior (OCD) or other mental health conditions (like depression) that are treatable; but not always.
And finally, many of you have written asking about how to get help/get on the show so here is a link, but please note that I have nothing to do with who is selected to be on the show.
Apply To Be On the A & E TV Show, Hoarders
http://www.hoardersdocumentary.com/
http://hoardersdocumentary.com/machform/view.php?id=3
Find a Professional Organizing Hoarding Expert Near You
If you would like to find a professional organizer who is a hoarding expert in your area, visit the National Association of Professional Organizers Referral Directory at http://www.napo.net/referral/.
Type in your zip code, go to the “Services Desired” menu, click on “Residential Organizing,” then go to “Special Populations” and click on “Hoarding”, and any other areas for which you want help.
Or you can visit the Institute for Challenging Disorganization website at http://www.challengingdisorganization.org/node/29.
