Anatomy of a Client

Everyone has a story. Clutter is never about the stuff and for me, hearing someone’s story is the best part of my job. I decided that the next few posts would be from viewpoints other than mine.

Today’s post is from a client who, for the time being, wants to remain anonymous.

She is 44 years old and widowed. She has a college degree in Business Administration and enjoys bird watching, being an environmentalist & activist, volunteering, crafting and watching documentaries.

Here are my questions and her answers:

Do you consider yourself a hoarder? How long have you been collecting and saving?

I am Chronically Disorganized, not a hoarder. I don’t really collect or save anything, I simply don’t know how to sort, organize and store what I have.

Everyone has a story; what is yours?

I had to deal with becoming a widow at the age of 25. My husband was killed by a drunk driver in 1990.

I then had a series of traumatic events during 1999-2001 and suffered a physical ailment that left me handicapped.

In the span of 2½ years I lost both parents, my grandmother, my only uncle, a close friend and all three pets. The grief was overwhelming – first came an after-shock of reeling from so many traumatic events so close together, and then depression. It took several years to work through the grief.

I put everyone’s belongings in my home (stuffed in every available nook and cranny). I literally put myself in a cocoon of stuff and shut-out the world so that I could not only begin to heal emotionally but also learn to deal with a new physical handicap and limited mobility.

At first, all of the items stored in my home gave me comfort – each item gave a tangible memory of all that I had lost. I wanted to hold on to everything for dear life after losing so much so quickly. Sometimes I would pass the time by shopping online. Because of the handicap I cannot go to the mall, grocery store, or department stores. Strolling through the virtual world, online, was easy and entertaining. Although I never had any sort of shopping addiction, the problem was that I was not getting rid of anything, just bringing in more stuff.

How did you acquire most of the stuff that you’ve recently let go of?

I’ve always believed in quality over quantity, but I lost my way somewhere in this journey.

I acquired much of my stuff by inheriting items from several different households of loved ones who passed away.

To help understand, let me back up a little.

In September of 1997 my world was turned upside down when mom was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. She underwent many treatments of chemotherapy & radiation and the cancer went in remission. I had always been an avid traveler, but stayed home with her while she was being treated. By March of 1999 I felt comfortable enough with her remission to make a trip to one of my favorite places – Alaska. While in Alaska, I contracted a MRSA infection in the form of Necrotizing Fasciitis, commonly known as flesh eating bacteria, in my right foot and ankle. I was emergency flown home, hospitalized for two weeks, underwent several surgeries, was in a wheelchair for two months and took physical therapy for six months. I sustained permanent damage to the cartilage in my foot & ankle, which left me with limited mobility due to difficult, painful walking and standing. Mom took such great care of me while I was sick and in recovery – she stayed with me day & night and twice daily changed my wound dressings for three months. After six months I was finally able to return to work. I was back at work only one week when we learned her cancer had returned, so I quit my job to help take care of her. Despite more chemotherapy and aggressive radiation, she passed away nine months later.

My father passed away only 4 ½ months after my mother, so it was a quick double blow, and the next two years I lost others close to me as well.

Several years later, when I was finally at a point of being able to let go of some of their things, I had too much physical difficulty sorting, moving and carrying things, so the cycle of living with clutter began.

Since we began decluttering, what has shifted?

With the help from the Metropolitan Organizing team, I discovered that letting go of the “stuff” has made more room for the treasured items that have true sentimental value. I’ve learned to appreciate my things in a new way.

What motivated you to ask for help?

I reached the point of not being able to stand the clutter about 2-3 years ago. It was just all too much. I tried and failed many times attempting to do it myself but it was too physically & emotionally draining. It felt like I was in a deep hole. I obsessed over what didn’t get done. My frustration became resentment and eventually I chose to do nothing rather than continuing to try… I expected to fail.

I became interested in a show on A&E called “Hoarders.” I was fascinated, not only by the mental anguish these people suffered but also by the conditions in which they lived. I realized that although I didn’t live in squalor or hoard by the clinical definition, I clearly had an issue with clutter and could reach out for the help that I so desperately needed and wanted. Until “Hoarders” I didn’t realize there was a specialty of Professional Organizers. Well, I knew there were organizers who would come fix a messy closet, but an entire house? Who knew?! When I heard the term “Chronically Disorganized” I said, “Hey, that’s me!” A new world was about to open for me when I hit “send” on an email to Geralin Thomas. After watching her help others on the A&E’s Hoarder series, I knew a brand new, shiny, organized world was a possibility.

Is it stressful or tiring having organizers going thru your belongings?

No, just the opposite – they are very helpful. They work quickly and know exactly how to categorize & sort items for me to go through. It makes the work less intense by easily identifying what is sentimental and what is just “stuff.” It is a freeing and exhilarating process!

What is the worst part about the clean-up process?

Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees when everything in an entire room is pulled out to sort – it’s visually overwhelming, but the organizer helps & supports every step of the way. There aren’t very many things I would classify as unpleasant about this process … except for the dust we stir up!

I realize everyone has a different background or situation as to why they hoard or are Chronically Disorganized. I am answering these questions from my own experiences in the hopes that a reader who is looking for hope & help will find it here.

What were you like as a kid?

I was always a responsible and well-mannered child. I made good grades, had nice friends, rarely disobeyed my parents and never caused trouble. I was the typical “good kid.”

I’ve always been a messy person, even as a child. Occasionally mom would get fed up with my messy room and clean/organize it while I was at school. My mother was very organized and the house was always immaculate. She picked up after me on a daily basis, so in hindsight I realize that I never learned the basic skills of organization. But I don’t blame my chronic disorganization on my mother – I should have figured it out for myself when I got out on my own.

Perfectionism is problematic trait that I’ve always had, though you wouldn’t realize it if you had been in my house the last few years. Typically, I will not do a project (or buy something) if it is not exactly as I want it. Most of the time I want it perfect or not at all – there are no grey areas in-between. I am trying to learn to let go of these unrealistic expectations I put on myself and those around me.

What is your most treasured item?

If I had an emergency, I would grab my two pets, a photo of mom & dad, a book mom wrote for me and the pin collection from my travels.

If you could have one wish/dream come true what is it (about your home, life, etc.)?

I feel like I have come so far in this process – the Metropolitan Organizing team has helped me tremendously, and I can see the end in sight. It’s a welcome sight; no longer filled with sorrow and pain. I’m proud of what I have accomplished, I’m proud at how I’ve handled it, and I can feel proud that I have a nice house.

My dream would be to have designer guru and genius Nate Berkus help finish this process by turning my house into a home.

Why Nate?

I would be honored, thrilled and humbled for Nate to unleash his imaginative style and finesse on my newly organized home. He, like me is no stranger to pain, grief and sorrow. I think he would understand what I’m going through and help create a comfortable home for me.

I’m looking forward to the final phases of emerging from my 10 year cocoon. I admire how Nate turns ordinary houses into homes — places of comfort, peace and tranquility.

Extra, Extra! Who else was called in to help?

• 3 Professional Organizers from Metropolitan Organizing; Kara and Charlotte for hands-on organizing and Geralin for remote administrative duties, etc.
• 4 dear friends of the client to help with hands-on organizing
• 2 Got Junk trucks with 2 Got Junk Guys per truck
• 4 House cleaners (quotes from 3 companies)
• 1 Carpet cleaner (quotes from 2)
• 1 Powerwasher
• 1 Handyman-friend and 1 licensed handyman (quotes from 2)
• 1 Professional house painter
• 1 Licensed Exterminator (quotes from 2)
• antique dealers/auction experts (quotes from 3 but still accepting quotes)

Imagine all the people… and wonder how long it takes to realistically orchestrate a project like this?

Approximately 20 hours for calling vendors, consultations, research, emails back and forth, detailed photo reviews, coordination of teams, shopping for products, etc. (Not included is travel time)

Remember, we aren’t finished with the project!

While we are waiting for Nate Berkus to read and respond to our call for help, (LOL!) we’ve planned a second marathon-session in the very near future.

If you’re interested in an update, I’ll cheerfully agree if, and only if, you post a comment below.

Want photos? Just leave a comment and say so.