Organizing a Hoarder’s Home for Television
A Look from the Inside the Eye of the Hoardnado
The television series “Hoarders” (A & E) has not only provided the public with invaluable insight into compulsive hoarding, it has also offered a rare inside view into how different professional organizers and mental health professionals approach hoarders and their belongings.
In addition, Twitter, message boards and chat threads are bursting with commentary, advice and thoughts about hoarders and their homes.
Most of the discussions (but not all) are supportive and applaud the bravery of the participants who have been willing to “air their dirty laundry” to the viewing public.
Personally, I like seeing the variety of help available and the different approaches being used. The production company allows each “expert” the freedom to be his or her own boss and do what we normally do -- with cameras, lights and microphones everywhere, of course.
What it Takes for Lasting Change
When working with a hoarder on this series, I have asked each client to commit to working with a therapist (counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist) and/or a professional organizer after I leave. (The organizing-filming only lasts 2 days and there are a lot of stops and starts for the film crew to change batteries, etc.) While it’s OK with me if the therapist isn’t on site at the same time I’m working with the client, I always stress the importance of the therapist-client-organizer relationship. There will be no lasting change if the hoarder is not willing to also work with a mental health professional for some period of time.
Decluttering and organizing inevitably unearth many emotions. Sometimes we come across things that bring the client to tears and the memories range from unpleasant to horrific. Organizers who have no mental health background or credentials are not qualified to deal with the complex issues, beliefs, thought patterns, and feelings triggered during this process. What we can do is gently note the particular issues and the emotions associated with them and suggest clients discuss them with the mental health practitioner on the team.
Professionals Respect Ground Rules
One of the unique things I’ve done with hoarders on this show is put together a team of qualified professional organizers to work with the client. In my experience on large projects, it’s best to bring in at least 3 or 4 organizers to help with sorting and categorizing belongings. These experienced organizers are respectful of the owner’s possessions and are able to work quietly so they don’t disturb the client who is working with me.
If you’ve been watching the series, you’ve probably noticed that one of the main ground rules for working with hoarders is that you don’t get rid of anything without prior approval from the client.
For example, I might have asked for permission to throw away all the wire hangers we find; or all moldy clothes, plastic stadium cups, disposable food containers and utensils, packets of soy sauce, anything that has expired—food, medications, vitamins. Some clients go along with this approach and some don’t. It depends on the client.
The organizers on my team are totally respectful of the ground rules, and understand that even an old packet of sugar can’t be tossed without the client’s prior permission.
It’s also important to stress to my clients that accidents do happen. Even with the best intentions things can get trashed, misplaced or damaged. We are all human and make mistakes so there has to be an agreement that if this happens, we will do our best to remedy the situation and keep moving forward.
If something like this does happen I suggest the client discuss “trust” with the therapist, if that seems an appropriate topic. In my experience, trust is a recurring theme with hoarders, particularly the lack of trust.
Beyond the Documentary of Hoarding
While the documentaries are filmed quickly, the recovery process is extremely slow and expensive. To experience success, hoarders must bring a strong commitment to and trust in the process and team members working with them.
Comments
I am a big fan of your work.
I am a big fan of your work. I absolutely love what you do, and you do it with such compassion and efficiency. In fact, I myself am looking into a career in professional organizing and i was wondering if you had any advice or could point me in the right direction as to how to get started. I dont have any work experience yet in the field, so what is my first step? Thank you for your time! Keep up all the good work! Sincerely, Adrienne Womack
Adrienne Womack
Adrienne,
Thanks for watching and posting such kind comments!
If you want to learn more about organizing I suggest the following:
Go to NAPO.net and NSGCD.org websites!
At both of those websites you will find classes (taught over the phone) for all levels of organizing and specific areas of interest within the field.
Also, look for the CD's from past conferences (on both NAPO and NSGCD). Buy them and listen to them.
Go to the library and check out books written by organizers with different techniques, approaches and areas of expertise.
Attend conferences hosted by NSGCD and NAPO.
Hire a professional organizer to coach you over the phone.
And of course, there are always TV shows but remember, in "real life" organizing a home takes a lot longer than 60 minutes and there aren't crews of people backing you up.
Geralin
The television series
The television series “Hoarders” (A & E) has not only provided the public with invaluable insight into compulsive hoarding, it has also offered a rare inside view into how different professional organizers and insurance professionals approach hoarders and their belongings.
I live with a hoarder
One thing about the show that makes it hard for me to watch is the way it affects the people living with the hoarders. I feel their pain the most as my wife is a hoarder, just like her parents. I'd say her parents case is nearly as severe as those seen on the show.
We've been married over 14 years and there are plenty of times when I wanted to leave or ask her to leave. She has improved (in part due to medication) but not nearly enough for me considering the length of time. I want us to move out of our small home, but I don't want to just end up providing her with more space to hoard things. Just coming home every day is very depressing and I'm miserable.
I was wondering if you have any advice for people living with hoarders, or if there is a web site that has such advice you might recommend?
Thanks for any info, and for the show.
Living with someone who
Living with someone who compulsively hoards often can be as stressful of a lifestyle as it is to actually be a compulsive hoarder. Unlike people with other OC Spectrum Disorders, hoarders are essentially unable to hide their symptomatology from others, especially family members who live in the same house.Thanks for sharing your opinion.
Isaac J
Isaac,
There are a couple of sites that provide an outlet for family members who want to chat with like-minded spouses, siblings or children of hoarders-->click on the "LINKS" tab above. Under, 'Hoarding" you will see a few websites to explore. Children of Hoarders is a site where you will be understood and able to discuss your challenges openly.
I think one of the main reasons the show is so popular with viewers is for the very reason you mention--the pain family members endure when a hoarder values their stuff over a spouse, children or friendships. For most viewers, it's unbelievable. I've overheard people talking about the show and it's often said, "You have to see it and hear it to believe it."
I have a few questions for you. I'm wondering at what point would 'enough be enough' from your perspective regarding your wife's hoarding? Do you think she will ever get better?
Thanks for reading and writing. Hope to hear from you again.
Geralin
Sorry if this gets repeated
I tried responding to your questions a day or so ago, but since it hasn't gone through yet, I thought I would try again. Sorry if you get two responses. Thanks a lot for responding to my posts and for asking me questions.
You said: "I have a few questions for you. I'm wondering at what point would 'enough be enough' from your perspective regarding your wife's hoarding? Do you think she will ever get better?"
Basically, I want to be able to get to things when I need them without leaning over a huge pile of clothes or bags of old papers. I would like to have less possessions to manage, so I can clean, dust, and generally be able to organize our home. In order to do that, I have to have fewer things so they all have a place to go. There's just too much of it, especially clothes. I don't expect things to be immaculate or sparkling. But I don't want giant piles of clothes leaning against every wall and stacked on every piece of furniture. I want to be able to have someone come in -- even if it's just a repairman -- without feeling ashamed. I would like room enough to spare to feel like I live here too.
As to whether there's any chance she'll get better, she has improved over the last 14 years. Her parents have problems about as bad as the people on the show. Her brother and sister-in-law are also hoarders as I understand it. My wife is maybe 50% of where they are now.
It still takes her a long time to do anything cleaning-wise, and it's hard because nearly all of it is her stuff. Not mine. I can only do so much to encourage change and she knows I really hate it here. Her family used to be huge enablers and would make it even harder, but this has gotten better as they have slowly let go over the years. So there is some hope.
Any thoughts you'd care to offer? :-)
Thanks again for your time.
IsaacJ
Isaac J (2)
Isaac,
Unfortunately, you did have a response which I accidentally deleted while having an "EEOC moment" (Equipment Exceeds Operator's Capacity).
My blog and website were given a facelift recently and I'm still getting used to the new look and options available; sorry about that and thanks for the 2nd post.
MONEY
One of the first things that I'd ask is how is she accumulating things~
is she shopping for them? On-line or in-store? Dumpster diving? Stealing? Passively acquiring?
What type of budget is in place?
If you stop using credit cards would stuff still come into the house? If so, how?
TIME
What are her peak accumulating times? Daytime? Evening? Weekends?
ENERGY
Here is a tough question for many to answer honestly but would you say your wife is lazy or unmotivated? Lacks energy? Has a limited attention span?
Is she "high functioning" to the public but not so much at home?
What activities does she enjoy doing?
Is she hooked on sugary drinks? Candy? Breads?
PROFESSIONAL HELP
Have you ever worked with an organizer (who works with hoarders) or a psychologist (who has experience with hoarders) before?
One of the gentlest ways to start experimenting is with a "time capsule" like we did with Alex on Hoarders.
Just an observation--
I've noticed when working with hoarders, often they THINK/BELIEVE they CAN NOT do it.
It is very, very slow but most of them can do it (with help.)
Thanks for your patience and I look forward to hearing back from you.
Geralin
Answers
Thanks for the response. I've been rebuilding my office since Friday, and just got my computer back up today. Here are the answers to your questions:
Q. How is she accumulating things?
A. Some shopping, some passively acquiring.
She gets some things from family and sometimes other people. Her mother is especially bad, and I've asked her to stop giving my wife stuff on several occasions. When I ask her why she keeps giving my wife things despite my requests, she says she forgot. Another big source of stuff is from discount stores. My wife gets a charge from finding a deal, and doesn't seem to realize that even when it's a deal, it still costs something. I would like to save up enough money to move out of this little mobile home some day.
Q.If you stop using credit cards would stuff still come into the house? If so, how?
A. Actually, we don't use credit cards. I'm sure family (her mother especially) would continue giving her stuff.
Q. What are her peak accumulating times?
A. Weekends.
Q. Would you say your wife is lazy or unmotivated? Lacks energy? Has a limited attention span?
A. Mostly unmotivated and lacking energy. She definitely has a limited attention span. She has worked with therapists in the past. One said she had never been taught how to finish anything. She often quits midway through a project. She has trouble organizing her efforts and prioritizing things. She was once diagnosed with ADD, but only by one doctor that I know of. She has seen several doctors/therapists since she was teenager and the others didn't seem to feel it was severe enough to be ADD. However, she also lies to doctors-especially if she wants them to take her off certain medications-and to me about problems generally. Her mother was the same way with my father-in-law.
Q. Is she "high functioning" to the public but not so much at home?
A. I used to think she was high functioning to the public, but then she lost several jobs for inattention to work and inability to handle stress. She finally told me that she tended to waste a lot of time at her old job, which I was unaware of. She is struggling at her current job, possibly due to her lack of organizational skills. It still takes her too long to get things done. I work for the same facility in another department, and have the opposite reputation (very organized). One boss suggested she turn to me for help with organizing due to my reputation, but I usually can't get her to apply my advice at home or at work. In theory, her job is similar to mine-we're both purchasers of a sort. But the details of her job are very different. So I'm only able to help her to a limited degree as I don't know enough about her job. But as I said, she usually doesn't apply my advice anyway.
A. What activities does she enjoy doing?
Q. She likes going places. Especially if there are rides or things to see. She likes watching movies. Unfortunately, I'm limited in what I can do as I get frequent migraines and I don't travel well. :-( There's a lot of things I can't do for very long or I'll get a migraine.
Q. Is she hooked on sugary drinks? Candy? Breads?
A. Yes to all the above. She is notoriously hooked on sugar AND vinegary things, like pickles. She actually drinks the juice right out of the jar. I have asked her to cut back on the snacks as she has dental problems and I don't want to be tempted to eat them myself, but she can't seem to quit. She has cut back a little in the last year or so.
Q. Have you ever worked with an organizer (who works with hoarders) or a psychologist (who has experience with hoarders) before?
A. She had a nervous breakdown when she was about 20 years old, and started seeing doctors and therapists for quite a while after that. That has pretty much ceased in recent years, probably because we didn't have health insurance for a while. I do not know if they seriously addressed her hoarding or had experience with that issue. I asked her to see another therapist when we both got jobs at the hospital (where we work now) and told her I really needed her to work on this problem if we're to stay married long term. NOTE: I told her she didn't have to be perfect, only that she needed to improve significantly. She has not seen anyone despite my request. I don't know anything about organizers in the area or how much they cost.
Q. Just an observation--
I've noticed when working with hoarders, often they THINK/BELIEVE they CAN NOT do it.
It is very, very slow but most of them can do it (with help.)
Thanks for your patience and I look forward to hearing back from you.
A. I would definitely like to thank YOU for taking the time to help me. If you would like to email me directly, you could go to my web site (www.atheistgeeknews.com) to get my email address. It is at the bottom of the About page (click on "About" at the top of the homepage). I have been planning to write an article about the show, as well as Obsessed, and would certainly link to this article so others could see our interaction online. It might help someone else with similar problems.
Thanks again.
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your knowledge.
something else
I don't know if this has any significance for you, but I thought I'd mention that she has a big problem with responsibilities and making decisions. She often spends hours shopping for only a small number of things and letting her pay our bills proved uh ... disastrous. She also leaves things out that should be refrigerated so they go bad and leaves the bread open so it goes stale, that sort of thing.
Thought this might tell you something more.
Thanks again.
my feelings
I watch horders in bits and pieces. Sometimes I even have to turn it. It has taken me awhile to admit i am a pack rat. I too am under a time line to get my house straight. one room i havent been in for 3 years.
Understand any work I do outside my home for paying bills, you couldnt ask for a better employee. My house is a different story.
Even tho these people are happy with the results, I KNOW and FEEL their anxity, Landed me in the hospital thinking i was having a heart attack. I feel very strongly these people are in a false sense of security (everyone going thru their stuff making their house like magic look brand new). Without treatment/medication, Lets just see where these people are in a year or three or five.
I believe there are more people whoes house is in dissarray than one would think.
OCD usta be concidered stupid. Brain thought patterns, anxity, Uncontrolled helplessness, Reaks havoic with emotions, body fuctions, The Stability of what Is Their world. As messed up as that is it is still Real!
I am gratful to all the people who are helping out in whatever funtion.
I fear it is more tramatic than everyone really sees.
All these people need treatment and/or medication for awhile to keep their mind, body, soul together as one in a continues help before, during and after!
I at times wonder at my sanity dealing with the house, why it is such an issue to imobilize me. But it is. and it has to be done.
yes im doing it myself, thank god for anxity meds!!! But at times I think therepy would help too (thats how i ended up here) To have someone objective tell me im not a piece of crap, or mental, for how I let my house get.
Hourding or pack rat we are caring, nice, decent people.
Thanks for allowing me the oppertunity to share my feelings
Jennifer
Note to all reading: this post is not written by Jennifer from the show, Hoarders on A & E TV
Jennifer,
I agree with you, it is traumatic and very much a mind, body, soul experience.
What I don't think a lot of people understand is how very, very complicated this disorder is.
Interventions, prescription medications, CBT and organizing are not enough to "cure" this. Unfortunately, it does immobilize the people who suffer with this and isolate their friends and families. Hopefully, in the future, more and more will be learned about this disorder.
For now, I hope the show continues to help those that are reaching out for help with organizing and therapy. I hope it continues to explore the various types of hoarding behaviors and the participants. It has certainly been a catalyst for many conversations about saving, buying, cleaning and needing items.
Many thanks for your perspective.
Geralin
Hoarders-Medication?
I've watched all the shows so far and I do wonder if, under medical supervision, the clients are ever put on anti-anxiety medication, not only for the process shown during the show but for day-to-day life. It seems that most of the clients are often paralyzed throughout the process with anxiety about it. In their case the anxiety has grown to irrational levels (such as worrying about throwing out expired food). And I'm talking about something very mild, not something to dull them; just to waylay the anxiety so they can get through the process. Or maybe the anxiety is part of the process and it's necessary to work through it? It just seems to stop them in their tracks.
jonilvr
Well, to be direct and to the point, I am not qualified to address any questions about prescription medications. I feel most comfortable sticking to questions that are in my scope of knowledge but I cordially invite anyone with the proper credentials to add their comments. Thank you for posting the question.
Geralin
I get more conflicted about
I get more conflicted about this show with every episode. From a viewer's perspective, the format of the show seems to set the participants up to fail. The two-day time frame seems so artificial and unrealistic that it wedges the hoarder into a corner, where they feel threatened, frightened, and overwhelmed. It builds up a sense of expectation not only in the hoarder, but in the person's circle of family and friends and even the crews who come to help out.
I understand the realities of production (I'm a producer), but even though I'm addicted to this show, I can't watch it without feeling that a great disservice is being done to the vast majority of the hoarders. People who are already reluctant to part with their stuff can't be encouraged by a gigantic, looming deadline.
Is the atmosphere on location really as urgent and strained as it seems?
Katie
Katie,
Your point is well taken and yes, it's possible that the 2-day crunch could possibly exacerbate the crisis dimension in the lives of the hoarders featured. After all, they are facing a major threat (foreclosure, losing children and relationships) and now they are under enormous pressure to make decisions, on camera no less which could, possibly, add to existing shame.
For what it's worth, while organizing, I'm trying to figure out if excess pressure leads clients to become immobilized and focus only on small stuff even more but so far, I haven't seen that.
To complicate matters even more, the problem is that this is unexplored turf and there are no answers.
When filming stops, I ask how they feel about the progress they made; so far, each client has been very pleased with the work we have done together.
When I check in after a few days, again, everyone is pleasant and has no regrets, regardless of how much or how little has been tossed or organized.
Even when the "before and afters" aren't dramatic, the clients have told me that the experience was a good one and they found the crew to be respectful and friendly and would do it again. In short, everyone is taking a chance and yes, there are looming deadlines hanging over all our heads.
Thank you for your comments.
Geralin
I Commend You
Geralin, what a powerful show. The work you're doing is amazing. There are so many points to call out that you mention in this blog. The fact that you have a team that works quietly while you work with the client. I am not sure others understand the significance in that. Trust is definitely a concern, so getting it all out up front is a great idea. You also mention the expense. I am not sure people fully understand the number of people, hours and amount of labor involved to make change happen. It takes a village and it's an expense that requires a commitment. Just like saving money for a vacation or paying for remodeling an area of the home. And lets not forget the importance of having a therapist in the mix. Not having a therapist is like driving at night without headlights. You won't see the problems you face. I like to think of the professional organizer as the steering wheel, steering the client in the right direction.
Sara
Sara,
I like the points you've made and I especially like the analogy of driving at night w/o headlights.
You are brilliant; let there be light!
Geralin
TV & real life
Whether it is the news, a “reality show” or just “regular shows”, in the end TV is all about the drama. While no program is able to show all the footage shot, without a doubt A&E illustrates that hoarding is a multi-faceted problem and therefore requires collaboration between a variety of credentialed professionals to effect change. “Hoarders” has brought a serious condition out of the shadows and into the light whether hoarders now know they are not alone or family and friends understand that it’s not just “about the stuff”.
Geralin has reinforced the complexity of hoarding by indicating the criteria she uses while working with the people selected for the show. I applaud Geralin for using her extensive training through the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization http://www.nsgcd.org/ to guide her decisions as she takes her expertise into the homes of hoarders!